I’m actually a 63-year-old woman

trying to install shit to her new computer because she wants to Skype with other men and meet her one true love (aka: I’m tech-inept).

So after my laptop died (after five years of us being in a relationship), I decided to make things up between me and the desktop PC. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to install this game I want to play but couldn’t because I’m that incapable of doing things on my own. I also want to install Windows 7 (illegally, of course) but I can’t because it says I need to burn the contents of the torrent after downloading and then install it in the desktop PC. I don’t know how to do any of that. Stop judging me. You probably suck at/on something too.

BUT YOU KNOW. It’s frustrating because I took up a (mostly) computer-related course in college but can’t do all that. I actually got Windows 7 and other programs on my laptop installed by a classmate - which he did willingly (after seeing “pathetic” written on my face. Font size: 50 font, face: Impact, font style: Bold.) - and now I’m realizing that I can never do it alone.

If you, reader, have time to spare, do come over and make my computer look pretty and hip (Installing OS, a good anti-virus software, games, misc programs, converting file sizes, organizing my porn stash, and more). For your troubles, I would wear skimpy clothing in colors of your liking. Yeah? No? Good talk.

Otherwise, wish me luck in figuring these things out for myself or try sucking my own dick. Both of which are equally hard to do. Maybe.