Anonymous asked: Ikaw ba yung Plaridel na andito sa tumblr since 2008? I just wanna know :'>


Yest.

Don’t tell God you have a big problem.

Tell your problem you have a big dick.

My life and explosive diarrhea

I haven’t blogged properly (let me just clarify that “properly” doesn’t necessarily mean “read-worthy”) in a very long time. A chunk of people have asked me to blog again and I’m going to try. For serious. Well, not really. But I’ll try.

You know when people say “I’m dead inside” but they’re really not and they just say it because it makes them look cool? It’s kind of the same thing when people claim they’re literally crazy and think it’s cute — when it’s not. Not ever. Have you seen a real crazy person? WOW LOOK AT ME BEING DIFFICULT AND BLOG WITH UNDERTONES OF ANGST AND SASS. Whoop. This ought to reel in potential followers! Keep going, self.

I’m dead inside. I’m not saying this to sound cool (because I’m uncool beyond repair), but because I am. I don’t feel anything anymore. Reasons would be because I haven’t interacted with a tangible living being. Not even animals! Some cockroaches, but I immediately introduce those to something else. They don’t get along as often. Surprisingly, cockroaches are socially-awkward when it comes to introductions with my slippers or Baygon.

STOP DERAILING FROM YOUR POINT JESUS CHRIST HAS WASHBOARD ABS.

I need to get out of the house. I have been stuck here for a very long time and it hasn’t done my well-being any good. Aside from coming up with more interesting topics for arguments with myself, there’s nothing else. I have nothing special to do, I have nothing to feel for. I have no purpose. And that’s frustrating!

Do you know how lazy I am? I hold my pee in because I don’t feel like walking when the bathroom is - get this - 3 steps away from me.

"COME ON! WHAT? REALLY?!"
"Yes."
"STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHPET."

So being home alone, not worrying about anything but choosing the least miserable future for myself, should be a dream. Shouldn’t it? It’s not. Surprised? Hang on to your vaginas because there are a lot more surprises coming your way.

I need something to do. I am planning to go back to school! But there were some things that came up. So right now, there’s nothing. I’m skeptical about working because I haven’t worked a single day in my life and have lived a very comfortable life thus far. And the idea of marrying someone rich who’s on the verge of dying, which was a very funny joke before and was an interesting topic of conversation, has now turned out to be the most appealing plan I have ever come up with.


I’m miserable and my purposeless life is turning out to be the greatest tragedy the universe can come up with. Right next to explosive diarrhea.

Victims of Amherst College’s rape cover-ups and the disgusting things said to them

Photographs by Jisoo Lee

Project by It Happens Here — Dana Bolger, Kinjal Patel, Sonum Dixit

(via whoreores)

:-|

:-|

(Source: onzo, via whoreores)

"Jump card-o!"*ting*

"Jump card-o!"
*ting*

(Source: blackmarket, via ratmanprimate)

"I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros."

"I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros."

kitkatpecson:

An Olympic Tournament Without Olympic Standards
Shin A Lam of South Korea was cheated out of her shot at a gold medal in the individual epee competition when the clock got stuck and gave her opponent an extra second for a final touch. After spending ages conferring, the committee decided to award her opponent the match.
In sports, a fencer’s blade is considered second fastest only to a marksman’s bullet. Fencing is about agility, grace, and speed. Naturally the athletes would expect their judges to be keeping time responsibly and properly.
Imagine this: you spend years training and perfecting your skill so that you can be in prime shape for the Olympics, the ultimate chance for glory at your sport. Then, that moment is snatched away from you because the clock got stuck and because a 15-year old timekeeper didn’t set the time properly! I would be devastated!
Shin A Lam stayed on the piste (to show that she didn’t accept the ruling) but she was eventually escorted away by security (while the crowd gave her a standing ovation).
Afterward, she had to return for a chance at the bronze medal but she lost, probably because she was rattled by the earlier outrage. So imagine that, you are competing for the gold and suddenly, you have no medal at all.
She was offered a medal for “good sportsmanship” but naturally she turned it down.
And the final obscenity, as quoted from the Daily Telegraph:

The crowd was then incredulous when just before 7.40pm - nearly an hour after the incident - that an announcer claimed that in the rules the Koreans had to lodge money for the appeal to be valid.

What is this, some sort of financial scam?

kitkatpecson:

An Olympic Tournament Without Olympic Standards

Shin A Lam of South Korea was cheated out of her shot at a gold medal in the individual epee competition when the clock got stuck and gave her opponent an extra second for a final touch. After spending ages conferring, the committee decided to award her opponent the match.

In sports, a fencer’s blade is considered second fastest only to a marksman’s bullet. Fencing is about agility, grace, and speed. Naturally the athletes would expect their judges to be keeping time responsibly and properly.

Imagine this: you spend years training and perfecting your skill so that you can be in prime shape for the Olympics, the ultimate chance for glory at your sport. Then, that moment is snatched away from you because the clock got stuck and because a 15-year old timekeeper didn’t set the time properly! I would be devastated!

Shin A Lam stayed on the piste (to show that she didn’t accept the ruling) but she was eventually escorted away by security (while the crowd gave her a standing ovation).

Afterward, she had to return for a chance at the bronze medal but she lost, probably because she was rattled by the earlier outrage. So imagine that, you are competing for the gold and suddenly, you have no medal at all.

She was offered a medal for “good sportsmanship” but naturally she turned it down.

And the final obscenity, as quoted from the Daily Telegraph:

The crowd was then incredulous when just before 7.40pm - nearly an hour after the incident - that an announcer claimed that in the rules the Koreans had to lodge money for the appeal to be valid.

What is this, some sort of financial scam?

(via whoreores)

I’m actually a 63-year-old woman

trying to install shit to her new computer because she wants to Skype with other men and meet her one true love (aka: I’m tech-inept).

So after my laptop died (after five years of us being in a relationship), I decided to make things up between me and the desktop PC. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to install this game I want to play but couldn’t because I’m that incapable of doing things on my own. I also want to install Windows 7 (illegally, of course) but I can’t because it says I need to burn the contents of the torrent after downloading and then install it in the desktop PC. I don’t know how to do any of that. Stop judging me. You probably suck at/on something too.

BUT YOU KNOW. It’s frustrating because I took up a (mostly) computer-related course in college but can’t do all that. I actually got Windows 7 and other programs on my laptop installed by a classmate - which he did willingly (after seeing “pathetic” written on my face. Font size: 50 font, face: Impact, font style: Bold.) - and now I’m realizing that I can never do it alone.

If you, reader, have time to spare, do come over and make my computer look pretty and hip (Installing OS, a good anti-virus software, games, misc programs, converting file sizes, organizing my porn stash, and more). For your troubles, I would wear skimpy clothing in colors of your liking. Yeah? No? Good talk.

Otherwise, wish me luck in figuring these things out for myself or try sucking my own dick. Both of which are equally hard to do. Maybe.

Ellie Goulding - High For This (The Weeknd Cover)

Awks.

Awks.